In the past couple of months my daughter, who is 3, has been asking about mom. I never really know what to say other than "She's gone and while she can see you, you can't see her". It's very hard to explain to a 3 year old about death, when I myself don't fully understand it. We manage and she seems happy with that explanation. I try to tell her that Granna is with her all the time watching over her and is never really gone as long as we keep her memory alive. We've always referred to mom as an angel and that she has beautiful wings now and wherever she is, she's very happy and at peace.
I never really understood how this thought of wings truly impacted Madeline until a few days ago. She had on her Tinkerbell wings and was 'flying' around the kitchen. She 'flew' over to me and said "Now I'm just like Granna." I looked at her with a puzzled expression and said, '"Why do you say that?". Her response was "Because I have wings too!". If only I could be that innocent.
It's moments like these that I really reflect on everything that I have and everything that I wish I could share with mom but can't. The other day in my anger I was talking to my dad on the phone and said "Oh! I wish mom was here so I could talk to her about this! She knows exactly what I mean!!".
I'm not angry that she didn't get her much deserved transplants. It just makes me want to work harder to make sure that the awareness is out there. I want to make sure that people understand that stories like the ones I've just shared with you don't have to happen. Help 8 families from sharing sad stories, become an organ donor.
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